Alas, I am back with yet another one of my brilliant theories on love and life. This one is not a theory or syndrome per-say, but it is something that everyone has gone through at one point or another - and if you haven't, then read this so that you are prepared for it.
I have broken down the science of the "break up". No pun intended.
As any girl, I've had my fair share of heartbreaks but it was only until about two-to-three years ago, that I went through what was probably the worst break up of my life which taught me more about love and life than anything else. Since then, I have monitored and guided the break ups of girlfriends, taking into consideration my experience and those of others. and VOILA! The break up guide is here to help you ladies through your next heart break (God forbid).
Step 1: Tissue Town
This is the worst part. During this phase, the break up JUST happened. Possibly last night even. This is where you are so upset that you actually feel a physical pain in your heart (hence the name - heart break). This is where you cry. A lot. No really - so much you'll start to wonder if you're normal (you are, don't worry).
At this point, you miss the person, regardless of whether they were wrong or not. You crave the goodnight phone call, the constant company you always had, and remember every good moment. You start to wonder if it was mistake - was there something you could have done? This is where you have to try to stop yourself and realize that everything happened for a reason (it'll be hard, but try!) You also need to realize that guys detach a lot easier than us ladies and try to move on asap, so try not to go crazy waiting for his phone call.
The only positive thing about this phase is the weight loss - get ready for the easiest weight loss diet ever. Without even trying, I lost 2 sizes. Unless you're an emotional eater - then step away from the Ben & Jerry's.
Your friends will say nice things and try to make you feel better but honestly, they're just being nice. The best advice I can pass on is what my best friend told me: "It hurts. And it'll continue to hurt, until one day it won't hurt so much. And then the next day it'll hurt less...Until one day you remember what it felt like, but it doesn't hurt anymore. It'll just take time".
At this point, you miss the person, regardless of whether they were wrong or not. You crave the goodnight phone call, the constant company you always had, and remember every good moment. You start to wonder if it was mistake - was there something you could have done? This is where you have to try to stop yourself and realize that everything happened for a reason (it'll be hard, but try!) You also need to realize that guys detach a lot easier than us ladies and try to move on asap, so try not to go crazy waiting for his phone call.
The only positive thing about this phase is the weight loss - get ready for the easiest weight loss diet ever. Without even trying, I lost 2 sizes. Unless you're an emotional eater - then step away from the Ben & Jerry's.
Your friends will say nice things and try to make you feel better but honestly, they're just being nice. The best advice I can pass on is what my best friend told me: "It hurts. And it'll continue to hurt, until one day it won't hurt so much. And then the next day it'll hurt less...Until one day you remember what it felt like, but it doesn't hurt anymore. It'll just take time".
Step 2: WTF!
Put the tissue box away and bust out a stress ball because you're about to get PISSED. At this point, you start getting angry at everything that happened. You start realizing all the things that you put up with that you shouldn't have. You think of what he should have done. Could have done. You wonder why you accepted things and realize what you really deserved. You swear off love and men indefinitely and roll your eyes cynically at anyone in a relationship. You begin imaging what you would say if you only got the chance, scripting your words into a perfect monologue.
You're going to get really angry, but it's okay...things are just about to get a whooole lot better ;)
You're going to get really angry, but it's okay...things are just about to get a whooole lot better ;)
Step 3: Holy Shit - I'M AWESOME.
Welcome to the biggest ego-boost you're ever going to have. After being so angry at things you settled for, you realize what you really deserved. When you embrace your qualities and what you really want - you start to fall in love with yourself. No really. You walk around with an arrogance and confidence that is matched by no one. You're freakin unstoppable. You're no longer angry, so you accept the things that you needed to work on and the things that you accepted. You embrace what you really want. You'll also get like a bagillion ideas of things you want to do now that you're your own woman. Hell, I went and got my masters degree.
You'll actually enjoy being single. When you walk into a club and when a guy smiles at you, instead of wanting to punch him in the face for representing every ex-boyfriend, you'll smile back. And that's huge.
Step 4: I'm Back, Bitches!
The picture says it all. You're finally over it. Your "me high" will start to wear off a little and you'll come back down to Earth with the rest of us, still confident but not arrogant. Maybe you're on good terms with your ex, maybe not. Either way, you're finally happy enough with yourself to move on, and perhaps when the time's right maybe even meet someone new. But the best part is - you won't settle. You won't date someone out of the need for affection and attention. You'll know when to compromise and when not to.
Either way, if you've reached this point, you don't need to read this anymore - because you're good to go ;)
**Every woman is different so please don't let me death notes if this doesn't apply to you...(although you're probably in the angry stage!)**
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